hermm.apa ya?

You are far and yet feel close aside

Asphyxiated and lead to delusion
I hear your sound of voice
Heard in the ear like you are whispering
Though far apart, I feel you in my heart

My heart beats suddenly fast
And you come across my mind

**************************************************************************
Hahhh..... Above poem is only to relax my mind for a while. My brain are saturated with formulas, words and numbers. It's raining now, so I take this opportunity to close my report and start surfing..muahahahaha....

It's very hard to continue living in this planet. Not that easy as in the novel or movies. The struggle are >450% more than what we watch/read. It's not that easy dude... It's superb hard and challenging. The are some scenario of human in this earth;

A kid which her mother died after delivered the baby and when the kid grew up, she/he long for a love of a mother..

A kid which his father died because of sickness/accident and left the kid with the only mother and then struggling very hard to live in a small and poor house...

A kid which born with siblings around, but then feeling frustrated and angry of being disturbed/annoyed and wishing for living alone without them...

A kid with no sister/brother around and wishing every night if God can send a sister/brother in the family....

and many more scenario that if I write it down will take pages to use... See, aren't we really pathetic? I think I am. I felt that being in earth will makes your life very SAD. Nevertheless, I will not feel ungrateful and frustrated with the opportunity to be born and living this life on earth. This is a place where I know what is "Love", "Hatred", "Tears", "Happiness", "Tembirang", "Honesty", "Rejection", "Acception" and so many more. Though it is hard to face and feeling that God is sometime biased, I keep on saying to my mind that, until my last breath, I will be very thankful that I am here, In Earth.

The best thing ever I felt is, knowing what is "LOVE" and "Perpisahan".

Sunrise and time to make another step forward

It's Monday. Wuhuuuu.... got to wake up early and need to catch up with the time. Unlike yesterday and day before yesterday, I woke up late and it felt really peaceful and I enjoyed the cool air with the comforter wrapped my whole body. This morning, I have to force my eye to open and ignite all the cells in my brain, though I snoozed my alarm for the 3rd time.

Once I open the curtain in my bedroom, the ray from the sun shine and light up the room. Wahh.. isn't it feel good to feel the warm ray... It's a new day and we need to be positive in everything. Though its hard, but lets try to make everything positive. Watch the sunrise and be thankful...

Enjoy this song from SUJU..keep walking one step a day... (**this is my interpretation of this song and I thank SUJU for this song. It ignite my day and turns my bad day to a blessed one) Enjoy the song.....

Aren't it helpful? This is one of my favourite song. Even each of them really inspired me a lot and so do their song. Lets enjoy the sunrise (photo taken at Mantanani Island, Sabah last January).

Blessed day and blessed week guys.... Lets encourage each other and help each other as we alone are not able to face and step forward in our journey of life...

Simple Praise

A simple praise to my Abba
For His strength, I am able to reach Friday,
For His clutch, I am able to stand still untill today,
For His power, I have the strength to make a step forward each day,
For His love, I am mentally refresh,
For His grace, I am safe in all my journey,

Thank to You Abba,
You are always with me
You guided me and You gave me wisdom

Not much I can give You back in return
But all I can give are Praises to You
And accept this prayer Abba
I thank You and I thank You Abba

One word?!

Think of one word now....... One word that described of what you are now.....



One word huh??....one word.....then the word will be .........errrrrr.....





One word........hermmm.........




Maybe, it is ..................hem..nope...



One word huhh?????





WHY SO HARD TO FIND ONE!!!....


Ask for many words to describe you now and you will come out with lots of it... find one?! ... And you will never find it. Why? What causes this?? ermm..maybe this is the reason of it.... in whatever circumstances, we always think big and wide and never focus on the real one.

This really described me....fuhhh.... more things to learn in life. I'm telling myself not to stop learning and never stop learning from mistake. I heard some people say this "soalan macam budak-budak", but I never agree to this kind of people. In this life, there is no such question labelled as "soalan budak-budak".... You are free to ask anything that you don't know because it's better to ask even a simple question than to assume of knowing it. Cast away all the ego in you and never feel down for asking simple question.

Dreaming

Inspired by this song.. How I wish there is in English version... If someone can play the music then I am volunteer to sing it...ngiahaha..but don't put on high expectation for the voice..muahaha

Dreaming... some says, foolish dreams are poisonous, but with passion, in no matter what they are doing even when they with their mistakes, the dreams will comes to a reality and it is not only a fantasy.

(in English..cited from internet...not sure if the translation is that accurate..hehe)

I was looking at my dream
that is being deemed far away
and I was standing blankly

i don’t have
anything left any more
I thought about giving up everything but..
I am standing up again

Even today, step by step
I step forward carefully
My heart is full of fear,
but it’s an excitement I’m embracing
I am staggering and shaking
But, I step forward towards
the dream that I am going to meet some day

As I’m thinking if it is going end like this,
a fear constantly comes,
I’m hesitating but…
Deep inside my heart
there’s an unstoppable beating
that drags me forward

Even today, step by step
I step forward carefully
My heart is full of fear,
but it’s an excitement I’m embracing
I am staggering and shaking
But, I step forward towards
the dream that I am going to meet some day

Even today, step by step
I step forward carefully
My heart is full of fear,
but it’s an excitement I’m embracing
I am staggering and shaking
But, I step forward towards
the dream that I am going to meet some day
towards the dream that I am going to meet some day

*************************************************************************************

Jeo molli hweuimi haejineun
Naeui kkumeul barabomyeo
Meonghani seoisseotjyo

Dae isang nameun ge eopseo
Modu pogi halkka haesseotjiman
Dashi ireonayo

Han georeum han goreum oneuldo
Joshim seoreobge nae didyeoyo
Gaseum gadeukhi dunyeo umgwa
Seolleimeul aneun chae

Biteul georigo heundeullyeodo
Nan tto han georeumeul nae didyeoyo
Eonjenga mannal nae kkomeul hyanghae

Idaero kkutnaneun geon anilji
Duryeoumi nal jakkuman
Mangseorige hajiman

Gaseumsok giteun goseseo
Meomchoji anhneun ulliminal
Apeure ikkeoljyo

Han georeum han georeum oneuldo
Joshim seoreobge nae didyeoyo
Gaseum gadeukhi dunyo umgwa
Seolleimeul aneun chae

Biteul georigo heundeullyeodo
Nan tto han georeumeul nae didyeoyo
Eonjenga mannal nae kkumeul hyanghae

Han georeum han georeum oneuldo
Joshim georeobge nae didyeoyo
Gaseum gadeukhi dunyo umgwa
Seollaimeul aneun chae

Biteul georigo heundeullyeodo
Nan tto han georeumeul nae didyeoyo
Eonjenga mannal nae kkumeul hyanghae

Eonjenga mannal nae kkumeul hyanghae

raining....

Things that Move me on

Next week I’ll be going out for a fieldtrip. I will be out of the ‘network’ for almost 3 weeks, depending on the result of the geophysics surveyed. Anyway, even if the results is not going to give a green light to continue the survey with more survey lines, we still need at least 2 days to transport back all the equipments and fieldwork tools to our base camp.

Looking back to the previous month, I used to set on target/objective to keep the time ticking until the next week of the same day... I created an emotion of excitement waiting for the same day of another week and this makes me go on... that’s why, it is one of the reason that I sometime are not realized that months and years have passed.

I used to wait for MONDAY, because of STAR KING, THE FIRST WIVES CLUB and YES, CAPTAIN

I waited for TUESDAY because of KPOP STAR... switching on the tv right away I reached home

Waited for WEDNESDAY because of THE VOICE, THE FIRST WIVES CLUB and SALARYMAN CHO HAN JI

Another day of THURSDAY because of STRONG HEART, THE FIRST WIVES CLUB and SALARYMAN CHO HAN JI

Used to wait for RUNNING MAN on FRIDAY

SATURDAY will be the marathon of Movie and Drama from CDs

SUNDAY will be resting the whole day after the laundry....

And next week, I’m going to be in the “heart of greens” for almost 3 weeks... ohh nooo... what should I do to replace all the "so called activity"?? hahaha....No tv, no network, no sms, no internet, no clean filtered water supply and no electricity. I was used to enjoy staying in the jungle before. When I went for it for the first time, I was very excited; it feels like going back to kampung and experiencing the air with fresh O2. But then, after many trips, the index of excitement falling down with the self-motivation. What so ever, AS ORDERED, it is a MUST for me to do the fieldwork...No fieldwork = No learning = No Report to show the boss = No APC ..hahahaha. Therefore, I am going with a hope that I will come back with a fresh motivation after the meditation in the jungle.Hahahaha...kidding. For this coming trip, I hope that things will go smoothly as for the preparation, tools, the schedule, the journey, the roads (hopefully not raining on the day we travel because the logging roads will get slippery)... Hoping for the best time and enjoyable trip, lets be back safe and peace...hahahahahhahahha

Grrrrr.....still not having any idea on what to do on the site while waiting for the next day to rise. On the site, we used to sleep as early as 7pm or 8pm..just right after dinner. With only candles bright out the camp, for the first week of all trip, I felt it was a very peaceful period of life. Followed by the sound of bugs, frogs and birds (owl?/small birds/crow?), it does really refreshing my mind. What matter is, for the first week is feel just okey, but for another more week of Week 2 and Week 3, goshhh, I get toxic-ted..hahaha...

I should do Reading.. Ermm.... it is already a “must do” thing in the site. What other entertainment can I do?... I need to sort the things I should do while I am in the site... What say you? Any idea?